Open hearts

Our book club this month is reading a book by Virginia H. Pearce titled A Heart Like His. When I first looked at it, my thoughts were "I'll try, but I won't like it". It isn't that I don't like spiritually uplifting literature, it is just that I have never done well with lectures. I have a hard time listening in classes, of all types, even though I want the knowledge offered. I constantly find my mind wandering to all sorts of other things. This is true with lecture type books also. I read the same page 5 times and the knowledge still won't sink in. I get it for that minute, but by the time I've read the next page, it is all forgotten. I am the type of person who needs a story to follow. I love history, but hate history books! I do, however, enjoy historical fiction. I get the history, but I also have a storyline to follow.

Back to my book club book. I got it today in church, and glanced at it briefly, then put it away in my bag. While my kids were playing video games tonight, I dug it out thinking that I might as well get a start on it, considering that it was going to take me all month to get through the 106 pages (in a normal book, that would take me maybe two hours). An hour later, I was already to page 71! I am so excited! Not only am I remembering the things that I have read, they are already making a huge impact on my life.
I have spent the last 2 and a half years in a horrible place. I have to convince myself everyday that it is a good idea just to be alive. Though I try not to live in a pity party by myself, it has been extremely hard. I love my family more than anything. They are like a drug to me. I am literally addicted to my children. Yes, they make me crazy everyday, but it makes me more crazy to be without them. Because of the loss of one of my choicest "drugs" I have felt like it will never be possible to be completely happy again. I am tired, irritable, and I am sure that I am just a joy to be around!

I know that everyone has their own trials, but it is hard for me to see that anyone could possibly suffer more than me. My feelings have put strains on all of my relationships. I am sure that I have pushed more than one friend away because of my "hard heart". As I have read this book, it has brought me some great insight. At one point, the author asks "Are you feeling the love of God - that He loves you, personally?" My answer has to be no. I have felt terribly abandoned. My hard heart has closed me off to the feelings of love that my Father in Heaven, I am sure, is trying to get to me. How do I change this? The whole idea of the book is that if we open our hearts, soften them, to the people around us, we will not only help them feel Gods love in their lives, but also in our own.
Sister Pearce states that when we feel His love, we feel "Acknowledged, accepted, validated, noticed, cared for, supported, encouraged, uplifted, motivated, inspired, comforted, HEALED, nourished, nurtured, changed, more confident, more able." Isn't this what we all want from life? To feel these things? If I can help someone else receive these feelings in their lives, will it really help me feel them? This is all I have ever wanted! I NEED to feel His love for me, with out it, I can't feel any other love for me. I am going to try to ignore my selfish impulses, and do my best to open my heart. I may be able to save some lives in the process, mine included.

Geocaching

On one of the rare occasions when Ryan was home, we decided to find something fun to do with the kids. We had heard about geocaching, and decided to give it a try. We found a few locations around our home. The first one was at Yuba Lake. It had a bunch of great prizes for the kids.

Here we are at our first found Geocache.


Here is the box and all of the awesome prizes!

One of the caches was clear up on top of the mountain. We hiked the last few hundred feet. This is the view that we got!

We had a really fun time and have been able to go a few more times. It is a really fun activity to do with kids!

Mozart

Every so often, I am graced by the beautiful sounds of piano music wafting through the house! It always makes me smile!

Besides being a musical prodigy, she is always willing to help around the house when ever possible (whether we want her to or not!)

Branden's 9th Birthday

Yes, I am a horrible mom, I didn't post about Branden on his birthday! So, let's hop into the way-back machine and return to September 11th. Branden had told his friends that he was going to have a birthday party, and I didn't want to make a liar out of him, so I let him have a few of his best buddies over for a pizza and movie sleepover. He asked for a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting again, but this year he wanted Darth Vader on it. This is what I came up with.

He was pretty impressed. I let him think that I drew that free hand from a picture I found on the Internet! It turned out perfect for him!

As always, Keira was there to steal all of the attention!

Over all, it was a pretty fun night for the boys. Now it is bragging time! Branden is such a great helper. He is always helping me with Keira, and with cooking, and sometimes even with cleaning! He is so handsome, and almost as tall as me. I'll be surprised if I am still taller than him by his next birthday! I really love him!

Sleeping Beauties!

So, sometimes Keira likes to fight us on taking a nap, and Ryan likes to snuggle her (or force her into submission!) to sleep. One day after I realize that she was no longer fighting him, I looked over and this is what I saw. Soo funny! Notice that they are laying the EXACT same way! Ryan hates when I take pictures like this, but obviously, I'm in charge not him!

Branden the WOLF!

I am so proud of my friend Branden. He is such a great kid when he wants to be! On Aug 26th he received his wolf in cub scouting. He was so excited! He really loves scouts, and can't wait till he is able to go on camp outs as a real boy scout!

Hey mom, Look what I can do!

This was taken before she could walk. I looked into Ashton's room and this is what I saw! She would climb up and then sit there and yell till someone came to help her slide down. She can do it herself now, just like an old pro!